I've never had a really hard time making friends, but I've realized during the pandemic that a lot of the friends I have in my current city are more my boyfriend's friends. I have people that I'm really close to aside from him, but they all live elsewhere. I feel like I need to put myself out there more to meet new people, but I'm currently unemployed so coworkers are out, and there's not really a lot of easy options with everything still pretty shut down. Do y'all have any advice or should I just stick it out for now? — Anonymous
What We're Sippin': Red Wine Sangria
Not that we're opposed a nice bottle of white (yes, a whole bottle) but there's something about a warm and soothing red to compliment the changing leaves, cooler temperatures, and chaotic world around us. Add as many fruit slices as you'd like, you deserve it.
Where We're Sippin': An open-air flea or farmer's market. Somewhere you can walk around outside and remind yourself of the amount of life that surrounds you, all while investing in yourself and sipping from a travel mug (filled with coffee or not-coffee, this is up to you and the city you live in).
Ginger Ále:
Bumble (clap) BFF (clap)
Mother Teresa:
What is a bumble?
Ginger Ále:
It’s known mostly as a dating app but has since grown to a professional and social networking app for those looking to make new friends and meet new people.
Mother Teresa:
Oh, but what if the people are crazy?
Ginger Ále:
No crazier than someone new you might meet at a supermarket, park or bar, I'd say.
My dear Anonymous, (may I call you Anony?) I think it’s important to note first that you shouldn’t get down on yourself for this since this quieter social life is by no means your fault. The world slowly crumbling around us (and how it's affecting us) has nothing to do with your ability to make friends. That being said, this wonky time forces us to get a little more creative. Since many in-person interactions have now gone digital, I would recommend joining Facebook Groups based on your niche interests or apps like Bumble BFF. When I first moved to New York, I used the app with the very purpose of finding friends that were just my own. I’m great at sharing (french fries excluded), but it is nice to have one or two friends that are uniquely and lovingly yours.
I’ve also learned that a global pandemic is a great opportunity to virtually connect and catch up with older friends. Take a moment and go through old texts or social media and reach out to those you may have lost touch with simply (because life happens!) People change and life is full of surprises—someone you reconnect with or reach out to could turn into a valuable friend in the future. After a few texts or Instagram DM’s or whatever you use to connect, plan a FaceTime date and make an evening out of it. Sounds like a perfect excuse for a cheeseboard to me.
Mother Teresa:
I agree, you should always have your own unique set of friends. Unfortunately, as you mentioned, we are in the middle of a global pandemic. It is hard to venture out and make new friends at this time. I’m sure Ginger Ále can speak to how I’ve been feeling about masking up and staying put. Now is a good opportunity to enjoy time with your pod, your boyfriend and yourself. Feel free to focus on you and know that these times won't last forever.
In post-pandemic times, I would recommend that you focus on building upon your interests. If you like books, join a book club. If you like to volunteer, reach out to local organizations that support a cause you care about. Try to find people with which you have something in common. Having a fulfilling life that is all your own is very important, and this includes an independent social life. Then, you can bring those relationships into your home and just as you have been open to your partner’s friendships, he will be open to yours.
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