Ok now that I can finally have a glass of wine, much needed all week, I can sit, relax and spill my guts!! Lol, I have been struggling with an old friend who I have distanced myself from. She is nice but was brought with a lot of conflicts and chismes [gossip.] I am not that kind of person that goes and talks about others. I tried to be positive always find the best in people but for my mental health, I had to separate from her. I have done my best to help her but I am tired…months have passed and recently she has tried to reach out…we have not fought, I just stop calling/visit…I am not a hypocrite so I can’t pretend all is good. She did things that hurt me and hurt others. Thanks for listening. — La Cholita
What We're Sippin': Bold, velvety and robust Malbec.
You deserve a hug from the inside out. Sometimes, this is a warm cup of coffee on a cold winter's day. Other times, it's a Malbec. This is one of those times.
Where We're Sippin': Over Zoom or FaceTime with a relative or friend that leaves you inspired, rather than drained. Someone that reminds you of the values you hold true to yourself. The goodness and integrity that makes you, you.
Mother Teresa
Ooo one of us! Welcome! I think you’ve done the right thing. It sounds like your friend is exhibiting traits of a toxic person, so good for you for creating distance. But people do change and I have always believed in second chances.
Ginger Ále
I don’t remember getting a second chance when I would miss curfew…
Mother Teresa
Your second chance was letting you go out again after you were grounded. You’re welcome. My dear Cholita, if you decide to grant your friend a second chance at a friendship with you, you need to be very honest and open with her about how you have felt. This is how you combat any potential toxicity returning to your life. If you say she has hurt you, then this needs to be addressed to the fullest extent if you are both going to attempt to move forward. As far as chisme or gossip goes, I defer to Eleanor Roosevelt here, “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people.”
Ginger Ále
I’m a little less inclined to forgive, because I have lived little life and can often be a pompous ass. My first inclination is to be wary, to reflect on whether or not your life is better or worse after establishing this distance. However, if this person is genuine in wanting to reconnect, I agree with Mother Teresa, all baggage and toxic elements must be dealt with before you introduce her energy back into your life. It’s also important to realize that, even after everything is dealt with and you both agree to move forward as friends, it still might take a while to get to whatever closeness you had before, but that doesn’t make you a hypocrite. People act, learn and move forward, so this new chapter of friendship may look a little different, and that’s ok.
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